Apple Unveils the Apple Watch

So the industry has been waiting to see if Apple can make “wearable tech” a thing. Apple has two advantages in this regard:

  1. The company places a very high value on aesthetics, and there’s no avoiding the fact that watches are generally understood to not merely be functional, but a form of jewelry. So maybe Apple can design a fake digital watch that you wouldn’t be embarrassed to wear.
  2. Apple’s customers are slavish idiots and will buy dog feces if Apple puts them in a unibody aluminum casing.

Looking at the watch in Apple’s video, it appears, at least in the glamour-shots, that the watch is at least plausible. That is, it may not be the most attractive watch in the world, and it may not actually be a work of real art like some real watches are, but it is, maybe, at least attractive enough to be plausible as a fashion choice.

 


The Nerd-King presents the new Apple Watch (Actual Size)
 

The watch has a slew of functions, including telling you what time it is, which is a new tech with some good Disrupt capacity.

No but really it has inboard sensors so it can serve as a heartbeat/health monitor.

There are two difference sizes of the watch (Mens, Womens, though they don’t call them that, because that would be Gendered), and it comes in three different metals of advancing cost, stainless steel, aluminum (the “Sport” version), and “hardened gold.” More important, probably, is that there are six different watchbands you can buy for it, ranging from the cheap and techy-looking rubber to the more-real-watch-like leather or stainless steel.

Incidentally, those watchbands are proprietary, of course: Apple will not just allow you to slap any watchband on their device. You must pledge your loyalty to the Apple Ecosystem.

But I’m sure the companies that make non-official Apple cases and stuff will put out their own watchbands, too.

Oh the other thing is that it comes loaded with Apple Pay, their attempt to get people to accept wireless payments.

Eh, I have no idea if this will catch on. But it’s not horrible-looking. This article shows what the iWatch actually is compared to what people guessed it might look like; Apple at least exceeded expectations.

I don’t think I’d ever wear this but at least I wouldn’t judge people who did.

 

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